Your Child’s Intellectual Abilities – Don’t Compare, Congratulate
Tip One
Value your child for whom he is. Recognize his strengths and weaknesses, special abilities and interests, and be realistic about your expectations for your child.
Tip Two
Avoid comparing your children with each other. For example, don’t say, “Why can’t you clean up your room like your sister keeps hers?” Or, “You need to listen better to your teacher just like your brother does.” Instead, focus on each child’s uniqueness and strengths and value as a member of the family.
Tip Three
When in social situations with other families or grandparents and extended family, and comparison talk begins, avoid the temptation to become involved in these discussions. Find positive things to say about all the children rather than comparing. Comparing abilities leads to feelings of inadequacy.
Don’t Feel Alone
We all have eyes to see the other kids at the park. Comparison is natural. Just don’t make it a habit. There is something to be proud about in every child.
Quote
“No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre, and I’m not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.” (Bill Cosby, found online)
Anyone who has or works with children knows that we have a huge crises in education and it has nothing to do with test scores. Our students are literally bored to tears in disconnected schools that kill their creativity, force them to power down as soon as they pass through the school doors and are completely disconnected from their passions, talents, and interests. In many cases these are students who are bright and gifted but struggling in school in some cases to the point of being medicated (see highlighted portion of previous link) so that they can survive the day and fit into an environment they find boring and/or irrelevant. Sadly in many cases rather than fix the boring schools, we try to fix the bored child. This often leaves parents in deep despair and children and teachers frustrated and feeling stuck in their situation accepting this as “the way things are.”
